Yeah, it's nearly mid-January, but I needed to gear up for my new year's resolutions. Promises, promises.
BP's New Year's Resolutions:
1. Practice (after figuring out!) proper IM etiquette. If I want to have a fight with a friend, first I must GET RID of my active icon, such as the Yeti who dodges avalanches and smiles that adorable smile. It's just not acceptable when you're going off on a person to have a Yeti dancing around and making sounds similar to what the other person would hear walking past a construction sight. And I need to figure out all of those abbreviations and acronyms. Like, brb = "be right back," ttyl = "talk to you later," igtldywahs = "i'm going to lunch, do you want a ham sandwich" and so on. Many of these shortcuts, I should avoid. For instance, tech support at my job has been known to write, "I'll fu later" for "follow up." I am NOT kidding. Believe me. I'm not writing this for laughs. I can't even see you as you read this...you're sitting too far from your web cam...
Also, I should avoid holding too many IM conversations at once. This practice has been known, in several documented cases, to result in "cross-messaging." I want to avoid the following scenario:
broodingpresenceatwork: LOL
cipher84: hey i'm thinking of going to France
broodingpresenceatwork: but you don't speak French ; )
cipher84: you're always so critical of me! i don't like that about you
broodingpresenceatwork: i was just trying to be funny. brb
cipher84: where the hell are you going? you can't run away from conflict!
broodingpresenceatwork is away...
cipher84: like i have all day to wait for you
broodingpresenceatwork: sorry, had a partner on the line
cipher84: look at you, Mr. Man. all important and bullshit like that
broodingpresenceatwork: well you don't have to be rude!
broodingpresenceatwork: i was just sayin, maybe try something a bit more out-of-box than Paris. Like the trans-Siberian railroad. You could stop at Lake Baikal and see the
[box 2 opens on screen]
partneratwork174283: can you stop by my office as soon as possible?
broodingpresenceatwork: six-gill sharks that still live there, virtually unchanged after millions of years!
partneratwork174283: excuse me?
cipher84: see the WHAT?! why are you being cryptic with me?
partneratwork174283: never mind, I'll ask somebody else
cipher84: i can't believe you think you're too good for Paris.
2. Speaking of IM: remember: the existence of IM communication does not render asking a woman on a date via e-mail the new "in-person."
3. Speaking of dating: resolution number 3: resolve the "brick and mortar" vs. "sketchy Internet dating" divide and elect to probably try neither. I admit, I've come close to convincing myself that it's OK to dump your bio data on some website, of course after sufficiently researching whether you agree with how their algorithm selects prospective partners. I once thought that Internet dating was just plain wrong, because I needed a "narrative" about how I met a person - it had to feel random yet predestined. But now that I've been reading a lot of science fiction, I'm sure that I can come up with something worth telling the grandkids by the fire while we're camping in the Adirondacks. And why would randomly running into someone at work or Borders Books and Music and Coffee and Biscotti be any better than learning about them on-line first? I mean, e-harmony basically creates a virtual book store, "populates" it with several dozen people who, like you, are all about "the dawn" and love to eat those little yellow candy chickadees at Easter and are constantly seeking expression of who they are and meaning in what they do (andhavethesamelevelofeducation - ain't nothin' wrong with a little bit of SES), and then lets you browse. If you see one of these ravenous chickadee eaters in the Inspiration section, you can start up a conversation without sirens going off and the poor, misunderstood (I didn't smile at you!) woman escorted by armed guards to safety. Because for some reason, people only feel like going to this particular book store when they're single and interested in dating. Or so they claim.
Now I just think it's sketchy.
4. Stop acting so careerist. After all, Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that "Great geniuses have the shortest biographies. Their cousins can tell you nothing about them." But what to quit? And which cousin to estrange? And let's not forget that RWE is only one man. Everyone and his mama has something to say about "genius." Like Einstein. He said that "intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them." Whither me, Mr. InstaConflict? (just add water!)
5. Speaking of quitting jobs AND real genius: this year, establish a beachhead within the MacArthur Foundation Fellowship selection committee; maybe one of them has a daughter with a YouTube channel on which I could post an endearing comment or two. Hey anonymous nominators, imagine how purdy my blog site would be if I had an extra 100 g's? Heck, you've awarded the fellowship to rare book binders and clowns, and I'm sorta funny and my book that just came out might as well be rare based on its Amazon sales ranking, so holla!
6. Speaking of funny: this is the year I take the world of stand-up comedy by storm, or at least by rumors of rain. Where art thou, open mic? My first joke:
"You all ready to have a good time? You ready to laugh your asses off? Huh?! Are you READY TO LAUGH YOUR ASSES OFF!? OK, goodnight!"
7. Charitable giving: decide whether I want to keep setting casts and handing out slings or if I want to finally invest in filling that pothole out in front of the doctor's office. Give accordingly.
8. Resolve all moral quandaries, especially whether I should donate a kidney. If I were to pass an icy lake with a small child drowning in it, and I knew that jumping in to save her would increase my chances of dying before my time by 1 in 4,000, I would try to save her. Otherwise, I would be valuing my life 4,000 times more than her own, which is just silly. But to date, I have not increased my risk of premature death by the same amount and rid myself of a superfluous organ. I've asked my friend Greg, who is studying to become a priest, this very question, and he promises to bring this up in his next class. I can see the news clip now:
"One seminary. Twelve priests-in-training. Twelve kidneys. The inexplicable mass-gifting of kidneys anonymously to children who were too far down the donor waiting list to otherwise have a fair chance of survival began shortly after the new year began. It is sparking a nationwide movement, and spawning copycat donors within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who some say have the most to lose."
9. Be nice to people. And I mean everyone. Whip up a nice batch of niceties and start dishing them out, even to people who don't even come close to deserving them. Then just sit back and start keeping score! I mean, just sit back and bits of happy will return to you from the ether. Duck if they're inordinately large.
10. Realize that every day is a gift. Live each day with the sense of urgency that such a realization demands.
I gotta go.
Vaya con Dios - Brooding Presence
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4 comments:
Hey, BP,
Greg here! I see you're still having kidney trouble. Morally speaking, of course.
Following careful reflection, the reasons you give for donating a kidney seem problematic to me on at least four points. First, on what is the "1 in 4000" statistic based? Second, how does the decision not to save the drowning girl translate to valuing your own life 4000 times more than hers? (That's a fallacy of reasoning.) Third, you are generalizing about a situation (kidney donation or saving a drowning child - take your pick) that's bound to have many concrete variables which will impact your decision and also its moral character. Fourth, I question that live kidney donation isn't potentially of even higher risk to the donor than you believe.
Here's a summary of how I see the problem. First, I see no right or wrong choice involved in the donation of a kidney - even if doing so is judged to be morally superior in a given case. It's a free act of charity when purely altruistic motives are involved, not to be coerced in any way. Second, the principle of double effect, while providing a means of justifying live kidney donation, also raises a dilemma which makes the choice both difficult and particular to a set of concrete circumstances. Consider: (1) The risk of complications - even death - to the donor is not statistically insignificant; (2) the benefits to the recipient are not simply a matter of life vs. death, but concern quality of life and risk of death; (3) the donor might have a particular life situation which does not warrant risking his or her life or livelihood in this way (lack of understanding, responsibilities for others, financial needs, predictability of other negative consequences...)
For reference, a helpful article on double effect is here: (http://www.studentbmj.com/issues/03/05/education/142.php). I also refer you to (http://content.healthaffairs.org/cgi/reprint/22/4/184.pdf) for some other considerations, including a different statistic for the risks involved to the (average) donor.
Lastly, there are alternatives to live donation which ALSO need greater encouragement. Being a registered organ donor and giving hospitals the equipment and knowledgable people needed to ensure that viable organs are successfully transferred to those in need are important steps in reducing the shortage of needed organs.
If you are a registered organ donor or provide certain medical services, you've already made a choice to help others in a way that could exceed the act of giving a single kidney in some ways. But certainly, there is something special about being a live donor that goes above and beyond all that. It's very honorable, I think. Should you do it? I guess that's entirely your choice. Keeping your own body intact isn't blameworthy and warrants no guilt.
These are, of course, entirely my own comments. I take full blame for the mess. :-) But I did run your ideas by a few folks at the seminary today. I didn't get very much feedback off the cuff from this small group, but it was nevertheless quite helpful in formulating my response, for what it's worth.
I admire your desire to be so generous. May the Lord give you clarity and peace!
I just thought of something: would people near the top of the waiting list for kidneys probably have already been waiting for a long time? Perhaps as long as someone nearer to the bottom might ultimately have to wait?
"Sketchy internet dating?" I'm never speaking to you again.
Just kidding. I love your blog. I wish more people would read it.
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