Monday, October 09, 2006

You only hate me because my PDA is black

Did you ever notice how the speaker on the back of a Blackberry is the spitting image of a Decepticon logo? The 8703 in general, with its angular shape and overall boxiness, is very Transformeresque. But what would it become if the machine were to leap from its holster on my belt and actually transform [insert transform sound here]? I imagine it linking with five other Blackberries to form UltraMessage, a towering anthropomorphic figure set to do battle with the evil Treotron.

But seriously, what's with the dirty looks when you walk onto a subway carrying/using a Blackberry? My friend Cyn doesn't think I would get the same reaction scrolling through a PalmOne. Is it a symbol of elitism (even though I didn't buy it; my employer did)? What am I communicating to others when I use it in public? Have some of you shied away from doing so to avoid the stigma?

And what's with Opinionistas eschewing the device when her site presently carries no fewer than three Blackberry ads?

Linking work Blackberries to personal cell phone numbers: thoughts?

Why is the number of Blackberry subscribers the same as the number of people in prison in the United States? Crackberries indeed.

What will homo sapiens look like generations from now, given the trend toward keyboards optimized for "thumbing"? It's interesting how the last major phase of our evolution involved freeing our limbs from the demands of walking on all fours and the emergence of fine motor skills, made possible in large part by the opposable thumb.

Can you believe that they were going to call it a Strawberry? The small keys reminded a branding agency consultant of the tasty fruit. Why Blackberry then? "Straw" was rejected as "slow-sounding."

I firmly believe that Blackberries and other distractions have one clear impact on our society - the death of the public intellectual. You know, people like Lewis Mumford or Jane Jacobs, who were widely read, skilled in multiple disciplines (Jacobs for instance fancied law, poli sci, zoology, geology, and econ), curious about everything and anything, and not afraid to go traipsing about the city in search of their next groundbreaking insight. Do you think the men and women who might walk in their footsteps really have the time to compose massive tomes that span aeons in a quest for truth, when they must incessantly check e-mail and re-enter their PINs as their Blackberries switch to lockdown mode every hour?

Anyway, in my opinion Manhattan is best experienced with the help of GoogleMaps Mobile. True dat (double true!).

Vaya con Dios - brooding presence

2 comments:

cyniloggian said...

BP, I said you would get a different reaction if you walked around with a T-Mobile Sidekick (not a PalmOne) instead of a Blackberry.

The Sidekick represents 'youth' and 'hipness', the MySpace generation, while the Blackberry represents 'The Man' and thieving corporate pigs. "The Man" oppresses the masses and you (his servant) keeping you tied down, billing the insanely high minimum hours, incessantly checking for messages every five minutes like a fool even though you realize how ridiculous it is. (Plus, checking it all the time, which you can't help but do because it's so cool, makes you look like you think you're so important that your office can't go five minutes without communicating with you.)

'You don't need your own phone, BP. Just link your personal number to the Blackberry.' In the oft-repeated words of a buddy from college, "That sounds a lot like something Hitler would say." When you link your personal number with your office number on an office device, they own you, invading every part of your life. That late evening call to Cyniloggian becomes connected with your work. 'BP, were you making personal calls while you were billing the client?' They own you!

(I can't believe you didn't put in the time to find a Transformer audio clip. Priorities, man! :^) Here you go buddy: http://www.geocities.com/prime357/tfsounds.html. Gestalt2 is the best.)

Ordinary Skill said...

I stand corrected on which PDA you said was cool. Sorry, master Cyn.

I figured I'd outsource the clip gathering. Thanks for doing the work of the thieving corporate pig!

You rock.